Ah, the Hipster. That great modern invention. How can you not love them when they provide us with all of the following…
They have good coffee
The hipster likes good coffee and seeks it out like a bloodhound. This means good coffee is more of a thing, now. Which is good. It also keeps other hipsters in gainful employment.
They keep themselves to themselves
Once they’ve found a place they like, that’s the place they’ll go until the avocados have run out.
They dress smart like
It’s always good to see young types wearing braces and well-crafted shirts.
They like collecting total shit, like pinecones and tiny barrels
Which means the world is generally tidier for the rest of us.
They’re good for the economy
Hipsters are very clean so have given rise to such otherwise unneeded items like beard oil and lavender-scented moustache wax.
They’re spartan in their food tastes
Hipsters can largely survive on ingredients foraged from the land, like wild garlic and wood sorrel, so are good for sustainability.
You can always hear them coming
Their portable sea shell collection makes a distinctive rattle, so you can hear their arrival and take the necessary precautions.